Afraid of love
That feeling where you like someone but you feel that if you get with them, they’ll end up breaking your heart. I wish I was his, if only he felt the same, how good would life be? I’m always worried about him, wondering where he is, what he’s doing and how he’s feeling. I can never understand him, the way he talks and the way he smiles. It’s so cute. If I were ever to be with him; believe me, I could be the best girlfriend anyone could ever ask for, maybe not the best, but at least I could give it a try.
Thinking about my past experience, it’s leading me to the fear of love. Seeing all my ex’s walk out of my life without a reason is driving me insane. The only reason why I was left was because of “clingyness”, I wish I was never clingy. Everytime when I’m in a relationship, I would always make such big efforts where it gets really annoying. I want to be a careless girl, a girl who only puts 1% effort into relationships, one of those girls who don’t give a fuck about anything and seem so unusual in a way. But I can’t seem to be that way because I feel that there’s a reason why I should be clingy in relationships, maybe it’s because I feel strong enough to hold onto someone but too weak to let go. I’m afraid of love.
